SillyNonstens

Rendez-vous à nouveau, Cannes

The magic of Cannes week is dissipating… time to see how the Silly Nonstens interpreted les événements sur La Croisette!

A truncated post from JJJB, finding fault with Kristen (duh) by imagining how Kristen must remind Rob of his worth to fans after Cosmopolis premiered:

Mind you, this is exactly what Rob says all.the.time. about his role in Twilight.

The Silly Nonstens STILL pretend Rob doesn’t believe he’s more than Edward. As sane people are aware, he ALWAYS knew that. His comments have always been designed to separate himself as an actor from the Twi-hype. But if the nitwits admit that, they can’t defend him, which is what makes them feel oh-so-close to him. LOL!

How dumb do they think Rob is? Some of them actually believe he was serious when he joked about being at the OTR premiere to practice walking the red carpet. Er, BTDT… at Cannes…

Doh!

According to the Silly Nonstens, Rob doesn’t know his own worth professionally or personally, is clueless about his fan base and still - after four years - naive about Hollywood:

Half right, Silly marysway - Kristen’s comment wasn’t about being raped, but Rob did stand up for her. And gee… do you really think you know more about Kristen, her relationship with Rob, or Hollywood than Rob does? Doh!

Imagine believing that after four years of intense worldwide fame, Rob still hasn’t learned how to spot a user. LMAO! I’d venture to guess he has a finer nose for users than 99% of the worldwide population. That sense will tend to develop when almost literally every person you meet - for YEARS - wants something from you. Not least among them, your obsessed, over-invested, controlling, Silly Nonsten fans. Doh!

I can’t help laughing at how the Silly Nonstens can always be counted on to misconstrue events; whether intentionally, or just because they’re dense:

*Psssstt* Cosmopolis is an indie movie. Also, Silly elp86… you are not the doorman in charge of Rob’s personal life. Doh!

Silly AZ’s PR conspiracy theory-approved explanation of the OTR afterparty PDA:

Are you wondering why Kristen needed consoling? Because the Silly Nonstens had decided that Kristen had made a very poor showing at Cannes, being booed left and right. An explanation as untainted by reality as the rest of them. Doh! This PR conspiracy theory is just too good to pass up - let’s have a look:

This bizarre spin was red-hot at PRsten for days. I smell a visit from their super-sekrit insider! Wasn’t it nice of said-super-sekrit insider to take time out from a busy Cannes schedule to make sure the Silly Nonstens had the straight poop? By “take time out from a busy Cannes schedule”, I mean “take a break at the office to sneakily send out a fake message under a fake name”. And by “straight poop”, I mean bullshit. LOL! 

Are the Silly Nonstens all related to paps? I can’t figure out any other reason they’re so defensive of such parasitic vermin. Doh! Let’s see what Rob thinks of the parasites:

“The paparazzi, you get used to them. But it’s still weird to see those guys who decided to be assholes their whole lives. You feel like telling them: ‘Why did you chose that job?’ Everyone hates you!’” And then he starts laughing so hard he can’t stop. “It’s like people who give you parking tickets. You watch them, they all seem so happy! Mhhh cool, I’m gonna ruin someone’s day!”

http://www.robpattinson.blogspot.com/2012/05/rob-talks-paparazzi-filming-cosmopolis.html 

Imagine that, Rob isn’t a fan of the paps, either - and they’re not really fans of his:

I don’t know if Rob’s teflon, Silly JJJB… but I do know he also was booed by the paps at his Cannes photocall: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=85ti9M1rAto  Does that mean the paps didn’t have a personal vendetta against Kristen? *faints from the shock* Doh!

Here’s a dose of reality for the Silly Nonstens…

First-the Cannes photographers ARE paparazzi, you dopes: http://www.g4tv.com/videos/26002/cannes-paparazzi/ Second-they WANT drama for their shots. A celebrity finger-flip? Cha-ching! Of course, Kristen does it with such frequency that it might not bring the big bucks it would if another big star did it. Perhaps that’s the idea? LOL! 

Kristen and Rob hear you loud and clear. They just dismiss you as crazy. LOL!

Kristen’s reactions to paps isn’t mentioned because it’s not an issue for anyone but the Silly Nonstens (and the odd hater). Kristen dislikes paps and this is how she shows it, just as many other famous people do. Oh look, Adele gave the finger at the Brits. http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01457/Adelemiddlefinger-_1457551a.jpg Cancel her recording contract! What’s this? Johnny Depp flipping off the paps at the Nice airport? Why, he must have been at Cannes! http://cdn04.cdnwp.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy-imgx/2/7/8/2/9/5/1/orig-2782951.jpg Say it ain’t so, Johnny!  Goodbye career!

Giving a pap the finger is not an indictment of Kristen’s character for anyone but the Silly Nonstens, who waste their lives justifying their hatred. Doh!

The paps at Cosmopolis’ red carpet weren’t booing Kristen, they were reacting to a PA announcement. But let’s say they were booing her…I don’t know how the Silly Nonstens can fool themselves into thinking paps booing at Kristen would upset her. LMAO!

Rumor had it, Kristen wasn’t feeling well that day. Could be. Certainly she was focused on containing her emotions. Rational people can understand how that red carpet walk was overwhelming for Kristen (and Tom). The Cosmopolis premiere represented the culmination of years of shared hopes and hard work. Nobody wants to see Rob succeed more than Kristen. Nobody has supported him more over the past few years. I don’t expect the nitwits to recognize the truth, but there it is. Meanwhile, all the Silly Nonstens could think about was how exciting it would be to see Kristen embarrassed at Rob’s first Cannes premiere. Way to go, #1 fans! Silly Nonstens first, Rob second. Same shit, different day. Sucks to be them!

Kristen walked the red carpet for Rob’s premiere early, so she could get into the theater before the cast showed up - as he did for her premiere. They’re aware of the excitement these appearances cause. They didn’t do this for cross-promotion (patience, AZ!) or PR fuckery. They did it for their own, personal reasons, which remain private but aren’t difficult for sane people to grasp. As for Kristen’s red dress… my guess is, her fucking boyfriend was invited to pick out her gown for his Cannes premiere. Excellent choice, Rob. ;)

One of the best things that came out of Cannes this year were the interviews with David Cronenberg. Now there’s a creative thinker. David always has insightful and often humorous answers to interview questions. This was a personal favorite:

Robert Pattinson is bankable and it helps the auteur cinema. 

David: Funds for the movie were really hard to find…Actually, Robert helped us a lot because of Twilight and that we can’t deny. So bless them!…Bless the Twilight movies without which I couldn’t have made this movie.

http://www.bfmtv.com/zac-efron-kristen-stewart-robert-pattinson-actu28171.html 

Who would have ever imagined an auteur like David Cronenberg saying “Bless the Twilight movies”? He’s smart to capitalize on Twilight, and wise to express gratitude as a gesture of welcome to Twilight fans. 

What was it you said about David, Kristen and Cannes, Silly AZ? Oh yeah… http://twitpic.com/9o62z8 http://twitpic.com/9o63t8 Doh!

For the love of God, the Silly Nonstens shouldn’t drag David Cronenberg into their fake drama by mischaracterizing his comment. David was referring to the media hype around Rob because of Twilight, not Rob’s personal relationship with Kristen. Rob, check the bus schedule and stay on the curb!

They shouldn’t characterize the emotions of anyone involved with OTR. The Silly Nonstens are truly fantasizing here. The only thing to be embarrassed about is Rob’s fans who spend 90% of their time worrying about what Kristen is doing. Incidentally, several of them have already admitted submitting comments trashing Kristen to online sites, including DListed. It will be easy to recognize their comment, and the gossip coming from their behind-the-scenes tips to bloggers by their keywords and phrases. Their super-sekrit-insiders’ lies are repeated like the word of God.

It’s shameful that the Silly Nonstens are willing to lie not just about Kristen (what else is new) but about a film starring many other actors, including Rob’s BFF Tom. But unsurprising. They regularly throw Rob under the bus, Tom can’t expect better treatment from them. Doh! Speaking of throwing innocent people under buses in the name of justifying their vulgarity…

Look at the Silly Nonstens exercising their imaginations again. According to them, Rob’s father thinks Kristen is vulgar. Where do they get that from? The email from his father that Rob read on Leno during Eclipse promo: 

“I hope this doesn’t embarrass him but my Dad loves sending me emails which I love getting.

“He sends me these things and I just want to read one, I thought it was so sweet, he always phrases these emails in a very formal way. He said, ‘Dear Rob, I’ve been thinking about gestures and a good one in my opinion is to kiss a lady’s hand. It’s very romantic and refined. Offer a hand ostensibly to shake and then the kiss - I impressed your mother that way.’ Then these curveball ones come out of nowhere, ‘Dear Rob, I was thinking last night about Yves Montand the great French actor. And I thought about his elegant way of acknowledging the audience at an Oscar ceremony by gripping his wrist with one hand and raising both arms aloft and how he was applauded for this gesture. I know I’ve mentioned it before but the reason I was thinking about it was because I was watching a programme last night about some current celebrities here and I was shocked by how vulgar they were’. I actually looked it up afterwards and I kind of want to do it but haven’t found the opportunity.”

The Silly Nonstens’ super-sekrit insider told them Rob’s Dad wrote that email for Rob to read on the air with the objective of slyly calling Kristen out for flipping the bird to paps:

Rob’s father is a gentleman; he wouldn’t stoop to making or endorsing insults, even veiled insults, on national television. But the Silly Nonstens’ characterization of Rob’s father - now there’s a good example of vulgarity.

IMO, Rob’s father would consider the Silly Nonstens’ PR conspiracy theory about his son to be the height of vulgarity. In fact, their constant assignation of the most base, mean-spirited motives to Rob and everyone around him could be found in the dictionary under ‘vulgar’.

This is vulgar: 

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Vulgar:

Say what? Legitimate media outlets had a very positive impression of Kristen’s Cannes appearance? They DIDN’T see things the same way the Silly Nonstens did? Thank goodness Silly craftychick set CNN straight!

Doh! And if you think that’s the only media outlet the Silly Nonstens contacted, I have a bridge to sell you…

Vulgar:

Maybe he got the idea from you Silly Nonstens. LOL!

Vulgar:

Silly AZ, do you think being banned from PRsten is the worst that can come from accusing THR of accepting bribes from Summit? Doh!

Thank goodness we have all these handholding experts we can rely on to interpret the details of the handholding for us. Doh!

Vulgar:

AZ’s mantra - *just doing his job… just doing his job… just doing his job…” said while rocking back and forth in front of her computer screen. LOL!

And finally:

Thanks Silly auntydodo, for pointing out just how ludicrous the PR Conspiracy Theory is. Oh, what a tangled web we weave indeed, Silly Nonstens. Doh!

That’s What She Said: about On The Road!

Walter Salles’ On The Road has had its World Premiere at the Cannes Film Festival, to a nearly-five minute ovation from the audience. The majority of reviews so far have praised the actors, in particular Kristen’s and Garrett’s work. Fans couldn’t have asked for a more triumphant celebration. Now, it’s time to look back at Silly AZmoviefan-1/redvines’ OTR-related PR conspiracy theories and predictions about OTR at Cannes.

Join me!

Many of Silly AZ’s OTR conspiracy theories were previously addressed in past blog posts. No need to rehash; these theories will simply be marked *DEBUNKED*. But let’s list them anyway, just for fun. :)

PR Conspiracy Theories:

If OTR is at Cannes, Kristen can’t help sell it.  *DEBUNKED*

http://twitpic.com/9okvnf

Summit shipped Rob to Montreal during OTR’s shoot.  *DEBUNKED*

Summit made Kristen and Garrett appear at Chris Weitz’s A Better Life screening at LAFF.  *DEBUNKED*

Summit is involved in OTR’s distribution.  *DEBUNKED*

Bella naked in a car giving handjobs is not great PR for Twilight.

http://twitpic.com/9okuse

Reality:

The Silly Nonsten’s deep desire to see photographers refuse to take Kristen’s photo on the red carpet was denied. Kristen can, did, and will continue to help sell OTR.

AZ is doing what the Silly Nonstens frequently accuse the sheep of doing - confusing a film character with a real person. Only AZ is confusing a real person and two film characters. Doh! Amazingly, people who aren’t filled with insane hatred for Kristen can differentiate between Bella, Marylou, and Kristen. LOL!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Fans are saying without the prose and poetry of the book, all that’s left is sex and drugs.

http://twitpic.com/9okuj2

Reality:

Why would AZ think fans had this information last December? And why was AZ talking to OTR fans, anyway? Answer: she wasn’t. She was trusting one of the Silly Nonstens’ super-sekrit insiders. Big mistake. HUGE. Doh!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Rob will steal the show (at Cannes).

http://twitpic.com/9okuaj

Reality:

Rob walked the OTR red carpet in a show of support for his girlfriend and her film at Cannes. Early. So he could get off the red carpet and into the theater well before the cast arrived. Rob left the theater discreetly, after the OTR cast. A few photos  were taken by surreptitiously by guests at the afterparty. The paps had to be satisfied with Rob’s and Kristen’s backs as they left the afterparty, and blocked shots of them sitting in the back seat of their car. 

If Rob’s plan was to steal the show, he failed. Miserably. LOL! 

PR Conspiracy Theories:

A lot of OTR/Cannes talk is from Kristen’s fans and PR team through gossip sites.

A gossip site reported Kristen was in Paris in January to talk about OTR at Cannes.

Rob will not be at any of Kristen’s red carpets.

http://twitpic.com/9oku2b

Reality:

Does blaming the OTR-at-Cannes talk on Kristen’s massive PR team even need debunking? Clearly there was no truth to it.

Ditto this gossip report. Who even remembers it? #SoRidiculous.

The Silly Nonstens’ super-sekrit insider let AZ down again! When will she learn, that insider couldn’t find the inside of a teacup? LOL!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen’s whoring her body out for attention by appearing topless in OTR.

http://twitpic.com/9oktrv

Reality:

While AZ is trashing Kristen for doing something actors/actresses routinely do in films when the role calls for it… this is happening:

“IFC and Sundance Selects will distribute the film but it won’t be part of their VOD platform, but rather a major theatrical release. IFC’s and Sundance Selects President Jonathan Sehring, also at the party , said he couldn’t be higher on the film and they plan to open it in December and mount a major awards campaign. “We are going for it in a big way,” he said. “And initially I was skeptical about the whole thing. I didn’t know if itcould work. I had never really seen a good Beat film done right before but Walter has done a magnificent job and all the actors are great. “She’s great,” he said pointing to Kristen Stewart  who was standing in a nearby corner of the party talking with Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson (RPat is in Cannes for his own premiere on Friday, David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis).”

http://www.deadline.com/2012/05/on-the-road-to-awards-season-kerouac-book-finally-makes-it-to-the-screen-after-55-years-cannes/#utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Doh!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Summit/Kristen’s massive PR team/sheep/Krisbians are pushing OTR as “a Kristen Stewart production”, which means it will fail.

OTR as a film is just about drugs and sex. 

In the script, Marylou just laid around naked looking stoned.

There’s no viable fanbase for OTR.

http://twitpic.com/9oktjn

Reality:

OTR has been presented as an ensemble film all the way, except apparently in the Silly Nonstens’ delusional minds.

This post was written in mid-March. Clearly, the Silly Nonstens’ super-sekrit insiders are best at being wrong. Doh!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Summit is involved in OTR somehow *DEBUNKED*

Montreal/LAFF/Garrett/Kristen *DEBUNKED*

Summit will try to get Rob to the OTR premiere. *DEBUNKED*

His very presence will steal the show. *DEBUNKED*

http://twitpic.com/9oktdq

Reality:

Rob looked great at the OTR red carpet and everyone was happy to see him there… except the Silly Nonstens. Doh!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Summit/LG is propping up Kristen *DEBUNKED*

If Cosmopolis is in competition at Cannes, it’s “nailed it”.

The film community cares about the film, not the gossip.

http://twitpic.com/9okss7

Reality:

Of course it has, as has OTR.

Of course it does… but AZ and her Silly Nonsten friends are ALL about the gossip. Doh!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen “the famewhore”… stop right there: *DEBUNKED* 

Rob and Kristen being at Cannes together will be exploited with rumors, with Kristen working her connection to Rob.

http://twitpic.com/9okse6

Reality:

We’re at midweek… if there have been rumors, I’ve missed them. And wasn’t it Rob showing up at Kristen’s premiere, Rob sitting in the row in front of the cast right in front of Kristen, Rob not leaving Kristen’s side during the afterparty, Rob leaving at the end of the night with Kristen? 

Thought so. LOL!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Rob and Kristen won’t run into each other at Cannes, if God is a Nonsten. *DEBUNKED*

http://twitpic.com/9oks4t

Doh!

myundisclosedobsession asked: I love this blog. Seriously. Is it one person running it??

Thanks, and yes! Sorry if I made you wait for your answer. One person can only do so much! ;) 

That’s What She Said: Cannes Edition!

Let us raise our glasses to  Cannes week with a look at Silly AZmoviefan-1/redvines’ mighty efforts to interpret Rob’s and Kristen’s film promo through her PR conspiracy theory filter:

Cannes

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen can’t help sell OTR at Cannes because she has no starpower.

Cosmopolis doesn’t need Twihards or sheep.

David Cronenberg has shown he will not put up with any fuckery, so Cosmopolis will be Kristen-free.

http://twitpic.com/9o62z8

Reality:

Methinks AZ protests too much. LOL! Kristen can’t sell a film? Go tell it to Universal!

AZ’s fantasy about David Cronenberg not wanting some of Rob’s fans to pay to see Cosmopolis is, well… insane. The more “Twihards” and “sheep” who pay to see Cosmopolis, the happier Cronenberg and Rob will be. They’ll even be happy about the Silly Nonstens paying to see it, and so will I. Because the priority here is supporting Rob’s career. At least, for me. AZ’s priority will become clear shortly, if it hasn’t already…

PR Conspiracy Theories:

David Cronenberg has been “hardline on about Twifans”, he won’t put up with fauxmance b.s.

Kristen will be too busy with SWATH promo to be at Cannes much, if at all.

Nobody at Cannes will care about Kristen next to Viggo Mortensen, Kirsten Dunst and Amy Adams.

http://twitpic.com/9o63t8

Reality:

Cronenberg never said he “won’t put up with fuckery” or “fauxmance b.s.” (way to drag him into the crazy fan drama!), and he hasn’t been “hardline about Twifans”. More of AZ’s delusional fantasies.

Every time the Silly Nonstens proclaim “no one cares”, it makes me laugh. It just shows how much they crave recognition as Rob’s official spokesfans. And these are the fans who boast about being tolerant of others’ opinions. LOL!

I would point out to AZ that Kristen arrived at Cannes today, but I’m sure she knew that before I did. Doh!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen will be too busy with SWATH promo to be at Cannes.

Kristen doesn’t need to be at Cannes with OTR, because she can’t sell shit.

Kristen’s fans are competitive with Rob.

Even if Kristen and Rob are both there, Rob will steal the show.

http://twitpic.com/9o64ao

Reality:

I don’t know how AZ wasn’t embarrassed to write that Kristen’s fans are competitive with Rob, and then “Even if Kristen and Rob are both there, Rob will steal the show” in the very same post. She may as well wear a big “H” for hypocrite pinned to her shirt.

There were easily twice as many panicky Cannes/red carpet prediction posts as I’ve listed here. AZ can light as many candles as she likes, but she won’t influence Kristen and Rob’s behavior. Kristen and Rob will handle the red carpets at OTR and Cosmopolis in the manner they choose. 

Frankly, with all her super-sekrit insider predictions, AZ is almost always wrong (to which the IMDb regs can attest). Hasn’t she realized by now that the Silly Nonstens’ super-sekrit insiders aren’t anywhere near the “inside”? LOL!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

MK2 is joining in Summit/LG’s fauxmance fuckery by putting out Kristen’s individual OTR poster last, the day the CFF announced OTR would compete at Cannes.

Summit also propped up Kristen with The Runaways, Welcome to the Rileys and The Yellow Handkerchief, and it backfired.

Kristen’s massive PR team is also pushing Kristen to get more attention for OTR than Sam Riley and Garret Hedlund.

The “film community” cares about films, not gossip.

http://twitpic.com/9o69n2

Reality:

MK2 is not participating with Summit in promoting fauxmance fuckery. AZ has defamed two companies here.

Summit didn’t “prop Kristen up” any more than they propped Rob up with Remember Me. Summit was the international sales agent for The Runaways’, as they are for many other films. As far as I’m aware, the only link between Summit and The Yellow Handkerchief/Welcome to the Rileys is the friendship between Summit’s Patrick Wachsberger and Bill Pohlad, whose Apparition was WTTR’s and TYH’s US distributor. I’d love to see AZ explain, in detail, exactly how Summit “propped Kristen up” with any of those films. 

As for using those films as evidence that no one cares about Kristen outside of Twilight, I’d have thought AZ and her Silly Nonsten friends were forever cured of that after waiting two full years for Bel Ami to get distribution. 

You’d think AZ spoke from the bowels of MK2 or the Gersh Agency, with her assertion that Kristen’s being pushed to get more attention that Garrett Hedlund or Sam Riley.  It’s just not true. Two, maybe three companies defamed here.

AZ is right about the film community’s priorities… too bad her posts show her priorities are the opposite. Doh!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Summit/LG is behind OTR.

Summit/LG’s people are exploiting the Twilight connection, even at Cannes.

Summit/LG wants to use the publicity of their Twilight stars’ other films being in competition at Cannes to “soften” criticism of BD2.

http://twitpic.com/9o6a5w

Kristen’s massive PR team and/or Summit are controlling tabloid coverage of the fauxmance and will likely amp it up during Cannes.

GossipCop is paid off by Kristen’s massive PR team and/or Summit.

http://twitpic.com/9o6alm

Reality:

Summit isn’t “behind” OTR. Last November, Lionsgate UK made a distribution pact with IconUK to distribute its films in the UK. OTR was among the films for which IconUK had already secured distribution that were included in this pact. This falls under the “if you search hard enough, you’ll find it” category. AZ is defaming four separate companies here. That may be a record, even for her. Doh!

I very much doubt Summit cares about criticism of the Twilight films. They make money hand over fist and nobody expects them to receive critical acclaim. Summit’s very fortunate to have cast good, young actors to star in Twilight. Their other, more critically respected work benefits Summit and Twilight without costing a penny. 

Summit isn’t involved with Kristen’s or Robert’s films/press at Cannes. Summit, Ruth and GossipCop are not involved in any sort of fauxmance PR. Three companies defamed.

AZ’s makes statements as fact, not opinion. She’s is very sure of herself when she says things like “Summit is behind OTR” and “Kristen’s PR is pushing Kristen to get more attention for OTR than Garrett or Sam”. It’s too late for her, but anyone tempted to listen to her would be wise to investigate the source of her NonstenFacts  before repeating them. 

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen/the PR fauxmance are not damaging Rob’s career.

http://twitpic.com/9o6axr

http://twitpic.com/9o6b44

Reality:

AZ says association with Kristen isn’t damaging Rob’s career… yet she can’t tear herself away from following his relationship with Kristen like they’re specimens on a slide and she’s looking at them through a microscope.

PR Conspiracy Theories:

The media are aware of the Robsten PRmance, and some outlets actively cooperate in it.

The Hollywood Reporter has been caught making deals with Summit in the past.

“The forces that came together to unleash all of those career goodies”, i.e. Rob’s team and Cronenberg, will not allow the media focus to revert to Robsten gossip.

AZ chooses to follow Rob’s career, and not gossip about his personal life.

http://twitpic.com/9o6bky

Reality:

There is no PRmance, but the media are aware Rob and Kristen are a couple, and some outlets focus on that more than others. 

I hope AZ can come up with evidence of THR making deals with Summit, because this isn’t the first time she’s made that accusation. Two companies defamed.

AZ wants everyone to believe that Rob’s team and David Cronenberg banded together to fight Summit and Kristen’s massive PR team PR fuckery by releasing information about new projects, interviews with Rob about Cosmopolis, etc. Nobody’s fighting anyone - well, the Silly Nonstens are fighting ghosts, poor things. Everyone else is conducting the business of making and promoting movies.

AZ chooses to follow Rob’s career, and not gossip about his personal life? LMAO! AZ is hooked on Rob’s personal life. She’s as invested in it as if she were his mother. She is hard at work every day interpreting everything Rob and Kristen say and do, to explain the subtext to Rob’s Silly Nonsten #1 fans. She matches up what she sees with what she’s heard from their special super-sekrit insiders, which is a hell of a job because *don’t spread this around* the Silly Nonstens’ super-sekrit insiders are big fakers. AZ might as well be listening to *ahem* Candykizzes. LOL!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen’s massive PR team practices aggressive PR, which risks a backlash. 

Kristen’s massive PR team should be worried about the public being indifferent to her.

Rob is a darling to the French, while Kristen is an afterthought, aside from her massive PR team’s efforts, Summit’s payoffs, and her fans.

http://twitpic.com/9o6c3j

Reality:

Kristen’s in Cannes to promote her film in competition. She’s also in the midst of a worldwide press tour to promote her other new film, which has a +90% “want to see” rating at Rotten Tomatoes. I don’t think she or her massive PR team are too worried about a backlash, or indifference. Doh!

“Darling”… “afterthought” - and if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. LOL!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

The film mags featuring Rob and Cosmopolis aren’t interested in the fauxmance

You can pay attention to the gossip, or pay attention to the film talk in Cannes

http://twitpic.com/9o6ci3

http://twitpic.com/9o6d5x

Reality:

Some Cannes reporting will be about “Robsten”. Boyfriend and girlfriend both have films in competition at Cannes - it’s an angle and some press will play it. Don’t get your knickers in a twist over it. LOL!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Wonders “how Kristen’s red carpet behavior will play?”

http://twitpic.com/9o6e3n

Wonders if Kirsten and Garrett, or Sienna’s baby bump, “will steal the show”

http://twitpic.com/9o6es2

Reality:

AZ is impersonating a ping pong ball. One minute she’s trashing Kristen, the next minute she’s reassuring herself that Kristen won’t affect Rob’s career, then she’s thinking about red carpet gossip. How tiring it must be, to be AZ!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen’s famewhore friends went back to LA.

Kristen’s mom is a famewhore, too.

The Stewarts will have a reality tv show in 2 or 3 years (unlike the Pattinsons, natch)

http://twitpic.com/9o6f2u

Reality:

I don’t see any evidence that Kristen’s family has the slightest interest in appearing on a reality tv show (quite the opposite). But is AZ implying there’s something wrong with having a reality tv show? Will she call out Rob’s friend Peter Facinelli next, because his ex-wife and his daughters are on a reality tv show?

Kristen’s friends weren’t in Europe with her this past week. But LOL at AZ and the Silly Nonstens for stalking their social media accounts, while mocking the sheep for the same behavior!

People aren’t famewhores because they have a personal relationship to someone famous. Waiting for AZ to apply that label to Rob’s parents for greeting fans and signing autographs, or for any of his friends… still waiting… *I think AZ will look good in that “H”*

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen looks like her mom, who looks like a man, which is #1 reason why AZ will never believe Rob is with Kristen.

http://twitpic.com/9o6fhd

Reality:

Apparently AZ not only knows everything about Rob’s behind-the-scenes career plans, she also knows what kind of woman he finds attractive… or is she just assuming her aesthetic taste is the same as his? Over-identification with a complete stranger is not healthy. Doh!

P.S. Kristen’s mom looks great in the photos from Cannes!

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Kristen is angry she was sent to Mexico for SWATH press, rather than famewhoring with her mother in Cannes.

http://twitpic.com/9o6fsh

Reality:

Kristen seemed like she enjoyed the promo in Mexico. I wonder what AZ would look like on a business trip to Europe, then to Mexico, LA and back to Europe within a couple of days?

Kristen’s mother Jules is selling her first directorial effort at Cannes. At 50 years old, she’s rebooting herself professionally, and her very first film is making international sales. I’d like to be Jules Stewart when I grow up. Is AZ going to call David Cronenberg’s son a famewhore next, or say that him being involved in the same business his father is, and also having a film at Cannes, is nepotism?

Here’s what I say:  Hypocrisy… intrusive meddling… stupidity… ignorance…arrogance…cruelty… vindictiveness… these are not admirable traits.

Updated! Summit/LSG’s PR Payroll List

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Universal, Disney, ABC, NBC, CBS, MTV, Ted, Taryn, Bonnie Fuller, Lainey Gossip, Gossip Cop, PopSugar, Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, Elle, Elle-UK, W-UK, GQ-UK, Forbes Mag, Time Mag, Cosmo Mag, Glamour Mag, Glamour Mag-Paris, People Mag, US Weekly, Life and Style, OK Mag, Famous Mag, London Daily Mail, The Sun, USA Today, Chicago Sun-Times, Box Office Mojo, Access Hollywood, E! Entertainment, Entertainment Tonight, TMZ, X-17, Just Jared, Just Jared Jr., Splash News, Storm Shadow, Lightbox Gallery, Canadagraphs, OLTV, television news anchors in Budapest-Hungary, The Fablife, Josh Horowitz, Shawn Robinson, Nancy O’Dell, Ann Curry, Meredith Viera, Joy Behar and the ladies of The View, Hollywood and Dine guy, Mark Meeks, Giulianna Rancic, fashion journalist Jim Shi, On the Runway’s Eric Wilson, CourtJustice, James Myers of the TVC Group, Cannes official Thierry Frémaux, Wyck Godfrey, Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade, Bill Condon, Jack Morrissey, Walter Salles, Charles Gillibert, Gio Angelli, Rupert Sanders, Joe Roth, Palak Patel, Stephanie Ritz, UK agent Grace, Nick Frenkel, Ruth Bernstein, John Fahrendorf, PA Jeffy, John Wayne Blair, Dean McManus, John Stewart, Jules Mann Stewart, Taylor Stewart and skater buds, Richard Pattinson, Clare Pattinson, Lizzy Pattinson, Victoria Pattinson, Bear Stewart-Pattinson, Kellan Lutz who said they were “madly in love”, Taylor Lautner, Dakota Fanning, Nikki Reed who reported they lived 10 minutes away, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Mia Maestro, Rob’s Hungarian Bel Ami double, Garrett Hedlund, Sam Riley and actress wife, Reese Witherspoon, Donna Scott, Eddie Redmayne, Christina Ricci, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Sam Claflin, Mia Wasikowska, Elisabetta Canalis, Dustin Hoffman, Bette Midler, Sir Paul McCartney, Gwyneth Paltrow, Pauley Perrette of NCIS, AnnaLynne McCord on the Eclipse BC, OTR extra before Montreal set pictures broke, Thor actress Jaimie Alexander, Katy Perry, Shannon Woodward, Scout Taylor Compton and her boyfriend from Glee, Mulberry Fashion/Luggage, Balenciaga, Louis Vuitton, Sienna Miller and unborn child, all the members of the Britpack and their significant others, Matilda Sturridge and baby, Sam Bradley’s sister on facebook, little Holly at the IOW, girls in the restroom at Winter Gardens where Kristen signed a paper towel, patrons of The Anchor Inn, patrons of The Spyglass Inn, twitters on the IOW ferry, IOW candy store/drug store stalker, IOW wannabe actress and Kristen hater, girl at the handicapped exit at Heathrow that saw Rob kiss Kristen’s nose, mouth, and chin, London Republican politician and his assistant, fashion reporter at the BAFTAs, Budapest-Hungary set stalker, Austrian girl vacationing in Paris who saw them smoking on a balcony, lady on the flight with Kristen from Paris to Budapest, little neighbor girl of Charles Sturridge, London brother and sister standing in front of the church, the girl who only wanted Skittles, owners of Bumpkin in Notting Hill, girl walking down sidewalk in Notting Hill, Brazilian nonfan at The Cow Pub, twitter girls from Marcus’ gig at Dingwalls, lady on the plane from Heathrow to Dulles who tweeted Kristen was sleeping on Rob’s shoulder, the entire guest list for the Ojai Valley wedding, hotel staff at Ojai Valley, corn scientist at Chicago O’Hare, really cute guy from the patio bar at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna, nice lady eating at the restaurant at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna who posted at the AT about plate sharing and later brought over a pic, girl on the plane with the creeper hand-holding picture, German maid during New Moon promo, bar patrons at Avenue in NYC, owners of The View Point Inn, theater employee during Eclipse re-shoots, fired waitress from Richards on Richards in Vancouver, Vancouver limo driver with the cowboy hat, birthday girl who presented the original of the blackened cab picture, employees and shoppers at Retro Rock Clothing in Vancouver, Vancouver grocery store clerks during Grocery-gate, pilots on the redeye with Rob from LAX to JFK, LA Starbuck’s girl who sold them bagels and blueberry muffins at the drive through, shoppers at Iguana Vintage Clothing who reported them digging through the dollar bins, rooftop party goers who saw Kristen sitting in Rob’s lap after the Eclipse Premiere, patrons of the Baton Rouge California Pizza Kitchen, employees from a random gaming store located between Baton Rouge and NOLA, die-hard bowlers from Don Carter Lanes in Baton Rouge, Baton Rouge facebook moderator, tweeters from The Loft Wine Bar at Perkin’s Rowe where Kristen sat on some girl’s coat, employees of Flemming’s Steak House in Baton Rouge, patrons of The Cadillac Cafe and Karaoke Bar in Baton Rouge, Baton Rouge local who reported them riding bikes on a service road outside the studio, Yorkville tweeters who spotted Kristen in a grocery store and pharmacy, childhood friend Jessica and gf Alex on L-Chat, employees of La Bodega Tapas Bar in Vancouver, girl who tweeted Rob, Kristen, and Bear walking down the sidewalk in Vancouver, Vancouver hotel stalker who saw Rob, Kristen, and PapaStew get on an elevator, teens watching Red Riding Hood in Squamish, random girl at Bear’s vet, rapper dude from Ralph’s grocery, all the citizens of Lapa-Brazil: population 25,000, Rosesee, Tulip, Stoney Marie, rest of the regs at the AT, the employees of Norm’s Rare Guitars, friends SuzieQ and Lindsey with the NYE party pics, LA motorist who wanted to reverse her car, skanky model from SOHO who is friends with Cobrasnake, snarky ex-wife of an A-Lister Famecandytweet, Miss Onelia and her friends, Tia and Tamara of Sister/Sister fame, sleazy fashionista Lori Krebs of Beyond the Rack, cutie hip hop dancer Deja Carter and her mom at the Sherman Oaks sushi joint, dude who complained they cut the line to get into Suzie’s 21^st birthday bash, Stoney’s boss and everyone who tweeted about the WME pre-Oscar party and Chateau Marmont hand-holding PDA, Vanessa’s cousin and his sneaky pic from Scout’s Dirty Dancing Party, precious NYC Bieliber and her pic of Rob bound for Paris, Spanish fan on the plane with Rob and P. Diddy, Abeitotzz with the first pic of Rob on the LV Red Carpet, sweet Mandy Merheb whose LV hand-holding pic was blocked by the dude in the letterman jacket, peeps at an LA party where Kristen touched some guy after leaving the restroom, the girl who saw tongue at Johnny Flynn’s concert, Tink-the queen of the Robsessed with her melty PDA concert encounter, ginger hobo who tried to snap a picture, Dose editor Jen McDonnell at Coachella, nonsten/PRsten reg Bamagirl14 who posted that Rob was holding Kristen’s hand so she wouldn’t get lost (LMAO), Barnsie, Lucy Loveheart, Meli 1518, PatsyStew with the theater fan account, Jessie Vee and her magical bra cam, Delphine Chui and the blurry head on shoulder pic from the SWATH Premiere/after party, and dozens of random others that I’ve forgotten. All this from the studio too cheap to buy decent wigs! 

(Thanks to the Keeper of the List, @GretelTweets)

That’s What She Said!

Shall we have some fun with Silly AZ’s PR conspiracy theories?

Silly redvines/AZmoviefan-1 at IMDb has conspiracy theories on the brain. She does.not.like. Kristen, and is super-duper obsessed with Rob. As (seemingly) the biggest Silly Nonsten cheerleader for the conspiracy theories, It’s REALLY VERY IMPORTANT to AZ to interpret Rob’s and Kristen’s words and actions within the ever-growing PR conspiracy theory framework (how exhausting!).

Her conspiracy theories are slipped into conversations at PRsten, here and there, little by little. I thought it would be interesting to group them, and see how they hold up that way. Ready?

BD2 Reshoots

PR Consipracy Theories:

Bill Condon called for BD2 pick-up shots only to “pull a PR stunt” and promote BD2. (http://twitpic.com/9l0a8j)

Bill Condon’s partner Jack Morrissey confirmed by tweeting with fans that the pick-ups are only for Twilight marketing, i.e. PRsten. (http://twitpic.com/9l0cuq)

Reality: 

Bill Condon, a respected director and Oscar-winning screenwriter, called for BD1 pickups because he determined they were needed to complete the film. Rob and Kristen weren’t seen in Vancouver except for arriving (separately) and leaving, at the airport. ‘Nuff said.

Houses and Private Photos

The report of the Malibu house sale was a press release. (http://twitpic.com/9l0ofx)

Shippers used photos of friends at Rob’s house over the holidays to distract from Rob’s career. (http://twitpic.com/9l0qpz)

Though there are rumors of Rob and Kristen living together every year, starting in 2009, they don’t spend more than a week or two at a time in the same zip code, outside of filming. (http://twitpic.com/9l0rdw)

Rob wasn’t surfing in front of Kristen’s house.

Kristen is famewhoring because there was a lengthy article describing the house and purchase. 

Rob’s house purchase was not publicized. The Real Estalker just got very lucky or had a tip.(http://twitpic.com/9l0s1q)

Kristen and her friends came to Rob’s house unannounced to take photos of themselves there. Kristen or her massive PR team tipped of the Real Estalker about Rob’s house. While Rob was in Berlin, it all came out (including Scout’s bday party).

Rob was pressured to play along, but his condition is there must be staff and/or friends in every frame.

Rob went to Pour Vous to be papped without Kristen, so even the score. (http://twitpic.com/9l0t7n)

Paps know where Rob’s and Kristen’s houses are located. Pics of Rob arriving at/leaving the Los Feliz house aren’t selling because it doesn’t fit the storyline of Rob and Kristen living together. (http://twitpic.com/9l0tux)

Now the Los Feliz house might belong to Nick, because it’s Nick’s name on the documents.

Photos from the Los Feliz house are suspect because photos of the house have been released before, and photos of palm trees, bushes and rock pools could be from anywhere.

The property has an uphill path from the flat patio/pool to the property next store [sic], there are no views.

Summit is releasing house photos for PR purposes, just like BD1 stills were released on Valentine’s Day and the “wedding pics got dumped”. (http://twitpic.com/9l0ude)

The two photos of Rob’s kitchen are not of the kitchen in the Los Feliz house. (http://twitpic.com/9l0uwi)

The RealEstalker said Nick manages the trust that owns the Los Feliz house

Leaked photos of the Los Feliz house could be from anywhere.

The Los Feliz pool doesn’t have a city view, so the pool pics are not from that house. 

The fountain pics are not from the Los Feliz house.

X17 has a different house as the Los Feliz property.

The vaulted ceiling in the kitchen pics means that’s not the Los Feliz kitchen.

Kristen’s brother and friends could be drunk-posting and lying about the photos.

The only evidence that links the Los Feliz house to Rob is the one photograph with his reflection in the window. There is stronger evidence that Rob is spending time with other people unconnected with Kristen, who he’s been seen/heard about with once (in Kevin Turen’s case, twice).

Summit is pushing the fauxmance because fans are close to meltdown. (http://twitpic.com/9l0vgk)

Photos and tweets about Kristen/John walking Bear were done to reinforce shipper dreams. Rob has had pap photos taken of him with Bear and without Kristen, and hasn’t mentioned Kristen in connection with Bear, to set the record straight.

Rob will be spotted arriving at or leaving his house, and will talk about “his” house, to discourage shipper gossip about Kristen living there with him. (http://twitpic.com/9l12u8)

Kristen’s brother’s twitter was Photoshopped.

Kristen’s friends are “on some kind of artificial substance influence”.

The photo of Kristen dressed as Charlie Chaplin was not taken in the same place as the photo of Scout wearing a moustache.

Kristen’s friends use their photos and tweets to create a story for sheep to believe. (http://twitpic.com/9l13b2)

Kristen’s friends are putting out photos and tweets on purpose for the sheep, and Kristen encourages it.

Summit rented the house near Coldwater Canyon Reservoir during summer 2010 so Rob and Kristen would be papped together there.

Summit rented the Notting Hill townhouse in London last fall so Rob and Kristen would be papped together there. 

Summit’s responsible for Rob and Kristen visiting each other in Budapest, Montreal and Paris.

Kristen’s team puts out information to give the impression Rob’s career is failing, and Kristen’s career is doing well.

GossipCop is under Summit’s control.

Kristen’s massive PR team gives stories to Ted C. and Lainey.

Personal photos are leaked by Kristen, her family, or John. (http://twitpic.com/9l13uv)

Reality: 

Here’s the “press release” about the Malibu house purchase: http://losangeles.blockshopper.com/news/story/2400149372-Twilight_Saga_star_s_mom_buys_Malibu_home_for_4_8M

Blockshopper is a site that reports home sales in cities all over the country. This write-up (and any other you’d find online) is based on public records and the staged property photos that accompany house listings on real estate websites. Jules Stewart is the trustee on the purchase, just as Nick Frenkel is the trustee on the Los Feliz home purchase.

Fans aren’t trying to distract attention from Rob’s career.

AZ doesn’t know Rob or Kristen, and has no idea how much time they spend together out of the public eye. 

The beach Rob was surfing at is within walking distance of the Malibu house.

Kristen had nothing to do with Blockshopper’s report on the Malibu house purchase. Neither did her mother or anyone on her team.

Neither the Los Feliz house nor the Malibu house purchases were publicized. The RealEstalker has been running her blog for many years and almost certainly was tipped off by someone about the Los Feliz house purchase. The tip didn’t come from Kristen, her parents, or her team. The timing of the blog post had nothing to do with Rob’s schedule.

The photo from Scout’s birthday was leaked by a friend-of-a-friend, not by Kristen or anyone associated with her.

Rob isn’t under pressure to “play along” with anything, and obviously therefore has no “conditions”.

Rob went to Pour Vous to network, once again with Kevin Turen, and other industry people. There is no “score” to be evened. To suggest Rob would do this is delusional. As is assigning motives to both Rob and Kristen that don’t exist in reality.

Paps aren’t taking photos of Rob and Kristen entering or leaving their homes because, as I’ve discussed previously, recently passed California papparazzi laws prevent them from doing so.

Nick is the trustee on the Los Feliz house purchase. He’s not the owner, and he doesn’t live there.

The pool at the Los Feliz house is located at the highest point of the property, on a hill facing south/east. Depending on where you’re sitting or standing, there are city views.

Summit has nothing to do with the Los Feliz or Malibu houses, and is not releasing any photos of them.

The photos posted by friends were taken at the Los Feliz house. The kitchen is the Los Feliz kitchen. The fountain is the one in the garden at the Los Feliz house. 

Kristen’s brother and friends aren’t lying about the house. AZ is accusing complete strangers, not even public figures like Rob and Kristen, of lying, with no basis in reality.

Rob and Kristen don’t arrange to have pap photos taken, or tweets tweeted, to disseminate information to fans. Rob has said several times he doesn’t want to talk about his relationship with Kristen because it’s private - he doesn’t want to ‘sell it’ in the media. Just like they attempt to minimize paparazzi profits by giving the paps as little as possible to shoot. 

Rob and Kristen own and live in the house in Los Feliz. They also spend time together at their beach house in Malibu. The only public information known about ownership is the names of the trustees. There is no public information about how much money Rob and Kristen have each invested in the two houses. They don’t need to provide evidence to AZ. 

Kristen’s brother isn’t Photoshopping photos (he doesn’t even have a twitter account). He and Kristen’s friends are not using their photos and tweets to create a story for fans.

I’d be very careful about accusing people of being “on some kind of artifical substance influence”. There’s no way to know from a few photos. That’s character defamation. 

The photos of Kristen and Scout were taken at the same party, at the Los Feliz house.

Summit only rents a home for Rob and Kristen when they are on location, working on a Summit film. Rob and Kristen both get nice housing perks in their film contracts. It’s likely that the WFE production rented the Coldwater Canyon house for Rob, and the SWATH production rented the Notting Hill townhouse for Kristen. 

Again, Summit did not send Rob to Montreal or Paris, or Kristen to Budapest.

Kristen’s team does not issue information about Rob, as they don’t work for him. If they did issue information about him, it would not be slanted negatively. Everyone who works for Kristen likes Rob and wants him to succeed.

GossipCop’s editorial content is not under Summit’s control. 

Kristen’s team ignores tabloid reports, and certainly does not contribute to them.

Nobody associated with Kristen - not her, not her family, not John - is leaking personal photos.

(March in) Paris

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Summit’s head of marketing and Lionsgate’s head of marketing played chess for their jobs, using Rob as a pawn.

Nancy Kirkpatrick, threatened by THG marketing, sent Rob to Paris for fauxmance PR. (http://twitpic.com/9l1wmb)

Rob going to Paris was meant to get fans talking about Robsten (pro and con), Rob didn’t need to go to Paris to get PR for himself.

Kristen’s Army (her massive PR team? Summit?) is online making Kristen look like the Henry Higgins of Rob’s career. (http://twitpic.com/9l1x1v)

Summit/Ruth is paying off the Paris paps’ photo agency to crop/Photoshop Dean out of the Paris pap photos. (http://twitpic.com/9l1y0d)

Rob is in Paris for work related to Cosmopolis/Bel Ami/Cannes, kept secret to keep up the fauxmance PR. (http://twitpic.com/9l1xle)

Paulo Blanco:

was with Rob when Rob saw Cosmopolis,

Rob was primarily in Paris about/or Cosmopolis,

Rob was also in Paris to promote the fauxmance. (http://twitpic.com/9l1yd4)

Summit sent Rob to Paris to:

promote BD1’s DVD release/OTR/SWATH,

distract from Kristen’s lack of ability to promote,

distract from Kristen’s blunders with the paparazzi,

make Kristen look heterosexual. (http://twitpic.com/9l1yt9)

Reality: 

Nancy Kirkpatrick (head of Summit marketing) and Tim Palen (head of Lionsgate marketing) will both stay on at the company (to run marketing for Summit-branded films and Lionsgate-branded films, respectively).

Summit/Nancy Kirkpatrick did not send Rob to Paris.  

Rob flew to Paris to spend five days with his girlfriend while she attended to business related to her deal with Balenciaga. (who wouldn’t do the same, if our significant others were in Paris for a week with a light work schedule?)

Rob went to Paris quietly, and did nothing to attract attention while there. Even when attending the LV-Marc Jacobs Exhibit, Rob stayed off the red carpet and out of the official exhibit photos taken of Kristen.

Kristen has a publicist. She does not have a massive PR team (as fond as I am of that phrase), or an Army.

Dean was not in Paris.

Rob wasn’t in Paris promoting a fauxmance or promoting movies. 

Rob doesn’t “hide” work and doesn’t have a fake romance with Kristen. 

Kristen’s employers have no complaints about how she does promotion, or how she interacts with paparazzi. 

Kristen is heterosexual, and doesn’t care how she “looks”, as should be abundantly clear by her jokes with Charlize during SWATH promo and her new Elle photos.

Sarahgate:

PR Conspiracy Theories:

Rob was bearding for Kristen, but announced the bearding was ending by getting papped sitting next to Sarah Roemer in a car. (http://twitpic.com/9l214z)

Kristen’s massive PR team told Kristen to go to Norman’s Rare Guitars to get her photograph taken. (http://twitpic.com/9l221f)

Reality:

Rob was papped during an evening out with a group of friends. Paps were waiting for him outside La Poubelle, and producer Kevin Turn quickly helped Rob into the car that already held the remaining members of their party. Despite AZ’s statement, Sarah Roemer hasn’t been seen with Rob since.

Kristen isn’t a lesbian, closeted or otherwise, so Rob obviously isn’t bearding for her.

Kristen bought Rob’s Christmas presents at Norm’s Rare Guitars. The owner, Norman Harris, told Us Magazine that Kristen bought Rob 1959 Fender Jazzmaster and 1947 K&F lap steel guitars, worth $12,000. Norm was not paid off by Kristen’s massive PR team (or Summit) to say it.

Rob was papped just after Christmas outside his parents’ home, loading luggage into a car. He carried a guitar case exactly the size and shape one would use for a 1947 K&F lap steel guitar.

To summarize - AZ accuses Kristen, her family, her friends and her massive PR team of being engaged in a massive conspiracy to grow her career by ruining Rob’s career. Can ANYONE explain to me how making Rob look bad would make Kristen look good? No? Of course not, because that only makes sense in the mind of a deluded conspiracy theorist!

Not to mention accusing Kristen of being an in-the-closet lesbian, and Rob of bearding for her… until he decides not to anymore… but then I guess he must have changed his mind because he’s been seen consistently with Kristen since December… but I guess AZ hasn’t figured out that part of her conspiracy theory, as she hasn’t brought it up again.

AZ also accuses Rob of fighting back against Kristen’s PR guerilla warfare with his own PR tactics to “show” fans he’s single - even though she also says he’s under contract with Summit to promote the fauxmance. 

AZ also leveled accusations at Summit. They are the puppet master, manipulating these actors’ lives to keep audience interest in the Twilight franchise. Because aboveboard, industry-accepted marketing methods are just.not.good.enough. for Summit. In AZ’s conspiracy-riddled mind, Summit’s above the law and apparently the most powerful studio in Hollywood!

All that’s just not enough for AZ - she drags in third parties left and right. Kristen’s brother and friends are her prime suspects this year. Let’s not forget Bill Condon and Catherine Hardwicke!

Who and what will appear in AZ’s next PR conspiracy theories? Stay tuned!

Ghosts of PR Conspiracies Past, Present and Future

Let’s first look back briefly at Christmastime…

AZmoviefan-1/redvines was quite convinced that being papped in the group of friends that included Sarah Roemer was Rob’s ‘F.U.’ to Kristen/Summit, and his declaration that he was dating Sarah. Imagine her disappointment on seeing her conspiracy theory fail:

I’m disgusted at AZ/redvines’ suggestion Rob would have a desire to get revenge on any fans, when everyone knows he values and appreciates his fans. My disgust is mitigated by the LOLZ at her “…sheep have to pay to get their R’sten fix at the theatre” prediction post… dated last October 3rd…

AZ/redvines and reality are so disconnected, they might as well be in separate dimensions. Doh!

What does this mean exactly - “DC has been hardline on about Twifans”? Cronenberg said one of the reasons he wanted Rob for this role was that Rob’s fan base helped with financing. Rob’s fan base is considered by the industry to be Twilight fans. “…they have to have a certain level of fame to support your budget. You can’t get investment from Telefilm Canada, for example, or from presales for French distribution, if you have someone who’s unknown.” 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5OgCN7waiM

There is a perception that Rob has a percentage of “crazy fans” - these would be the extremely opinionated Silly Nonstens, who are so fond of voicing those opinions about what Rob should be doing, loudly, to people Rob works with. Regardless, Cronenberg isn’t going to be “hardline” about any of Rob’s fans. What would be the point of alienating the very people you’d like to pay to see your movie? AZ/redvines is simply indulging in a bit of sick Silly Nonsten fantasy here.

The Silly Nonstens want Cosmopolis to be released in December, after BD2, so that there won’t be any “PR fuckery” associated with it. They seize any opportunity to spin their fantasy of Cronenberg fighting with Summit, more fanfiction that shows how far gone they are, unaware of the desirability of maintaining good professional relationships in Hollywood. They’d rather see their revenge fantasies play out. AZ/redvines would LOVE for Cronenberg to make it clear Cosmopolis doesn’t need Twifans or sheep. There she goes again, wanting Rob to dump the majority of his fan base!

Here’s AZ/redvines’ prediction for Cannes. She’s searching desperately for a way to explain why Rob has been seen with Kristen again and again since BD1’s release. Let’s watch over the next month to see if her prediction comes true - hey, there’s a first time for everything. LOL!

I’ll break down the pattern… when Kristen isn’t featured in promo, it’s because she stinks up the joint so much they can’t use her. When she is featured in promo, she’s called a famewhore and is picked apart down to ear wax that can’t be seen without a magnifying glass. Mind you, Rob isn’t even in the movie they’re discussing! 

This complaint just doesn’t wash when VAgirl/Over+Outsten is actively seeking out SWATH promo.  But then, VAgirl is known for pretending just how much she doesn’t care about all this.. how un-invested she is:

It’s just a hobby, even though she’s at PRsten practically every day discussing conspiracy theories, checking her Rob-Google alerts, monitoring Twitter and making frequent cheerleader pit-stops at Rob’s IMDb board (she’s mysteriously missing this week. LOL!). During WFE promo, VAgirl used her IMDb account to repeatedly suggest Rob fans purchase WFE theater tickets to pass out to family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances. She recommended giving copies of the novel as Christmas gifts. She’s attended BritPack shows (public and private) in her area for several years.  She also stalked, I mean was coincidentally in Southern California on vacation, during Comic-Con last July, and in NYC when Rob did BD1 promo there (and that’s only what I know about). But she’s not over-invested or anything:

In case you didn’t catch VAgirl’s drift, SUMMIT AND KRISTEN ARE PUNISHING “REAL ROB” FANS. I’m doing a mental side-eye here. That’s quite a persecution complex, fitting right into the PR conspiracy theories:

WTF is VAgirl talking about here? I’ve looked at that photo too, and can’t remember a thing about the table. But she just took a quick look - she didn’t put any energy into it. LMAO!

The next time she’s in LA (probably when she’s in SoCal for ComicCon, wink-wink), she plans to shop at TINI to show her real-Rob-fan  appreciation and support:

Not to breathe the air that Robert Pattinson breathed, open the door he opened, touch the antiques he touched…

VAgirl complains here about being tricked into talking about “Robsten”, when there’s news of Rob’s films. Yet she chooses to talk “about her and “them” and the storyline we’re being sold” almost every day at PRsten. LOL!

Still waiting to “hear Wyck speak”…. another failed Silly Nonsten prediction. Doh!

“Hooked.” A rare bit of honesty!  Another post that reveals the depth of her Robsession:

After my double-take at VAgirl’s bizarre interpretation of Ann Curry’s comments to Rob/his reaction at the end of his last Today Show appearance, I did a triple-take at the depth of emotion revealed in VAgirl writing “…I wanted to wring her neck”. Her over-identification with Rob is again displayed below, when she writes “I so wish Lionsgate would cut us and Rob a break.” 

It’s Rob, VAgirl and the real Rob fans, aligned against a Summit/Kristen PR assault. Doh! She occasionally lets her Nonsten show at IMDb, too:

As does AZ/redvines… Rob’s IMDb board regs will be familiar with this body-language analysis:

According to VAgirl, Kristen, her massive PR team and her fans have all of Hollywood cowed! And you Silly Nonstens predict failure for her? LMAO!

I’ll bet Rob’s IMDb board regs will be shocked to find out VAgirl is a faithful reader of Ted Casablanca, since she frowns on gossip there (but only if the gossip features Kristen as Rob’s girlfriend)

Speaking of gossip…

Are you all as amazed as I am that VAgirl doesn’t understand Rob was talking here about their rumors hooking him up left and right with random girls… e.g., Sarah Gadon? Did it ever occur to the Silly Nonstens that Rob said this hoping they weren’t too dense to pick up that he was talking about their silly PR conspiracy rumors that have dogged him for the past few years? The real Rob has barely been seen with a woman besides Kristen in that time. He doesn’t talk about his private life, except to plainly state it’s no PR stunt. He also said he doesn’t hide it… that pretty much leads to one conclusion. Unless you’re delusional.

VAgirl sounded irritated with Summit in this next post, discussing how Kristen’s attendance at the WFE premiere was Summit-dictated PR (sound familiar?.  I know Rob left the theater hand-in-hand with Kristen and later went in for a kiss in full view of the paps with no Summit reps in sight; but the Silly Nonstens prefer their version, where Summit pressured Fox to allow Kristen at the premiere (as long as she went in the back way), and stayed with her all evening (because she doesn’t have any friends, duh!). VAgirl still sounded pretty steamed 5 months after the premiere:

Note VAgirls’ question to Summit… if you’re a PR theory believer, you’d have to say it worked pretty damn well for Summit. Doh! Since Lionsgate has merged with Summit, and Summit steadily signs actors (Emma Watson, Nina Dobrev, Paul Rudd, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Nicholas Hoult and Teresa Palmer, to name a few) for projects, it seems plenty of people have goodwill for Summit. People who know better than to believe in silly conspiracy theories. LOL! 

By the way, that’s one of two times Rob tried to kiss Kristen in full view of fans and media, and was rebuffed - the other time being on the stage of the MMAs. You’d think the Silly Nonstens would accuse Rob of using Kristen for PR, and applaud her for resisting. LOL!

The important line here is “Rob is doing great. And will continue to.” I completely agree with VAgirl about that. Look at the reaction to the Cosmopolis trailer! It’s so obvious to everyone that Rob has the chops and the smarts to move beyond Twilight. What I don’t get is… if Rob’s doing great, what’s VAgirl bitching about? Why the need to constantly scrutinize and criticize and accuse Kristen of everything under the sun? Why encourage complaints about Kristen, or Summit - Rob’s bosses? Why the constant worry about how Rob’s going to free himself from Kristen’s clutches? VAgirl says he’s doing great in Kristen’s clutches!

Doh!

Speaking of the WFE premiere:

Was there a threat of a fan boycott of WFE? No, there was not. In fact, every Rob/Kristen fan I know saw WFE. 

There was, however, talk by Silly Nonstens of a campaign to keep Kristen away from WFE’s premiere. Seriously, do you Silly Nonstens not see how INSANE these campaigns are? Can’t you be objective for five seconds and put yourself in the shoes of a Fox exec receiving that letter? Imagine their shock at learning some of Rob’s fans did.not.want. Kristen at the premiere. They expected fans to be thrilled to see Kristen there, and Fox execs couldn’t have been happier about her attendance. Imagine how embarrassing it was for Rob and his team to explain the Silly Nonstens’ demand that Fox ban Kristen. 

The Silly Nonstens deny any petitioning took place. This comment was posted on Deadline last October, 10 months after the WFE petition was suggested, 6 months after the WFE premiere:

This clearly wasn’t posted by a fan with an agenda. The comment is still on the site, if you want to copy that link. 

This, Silly Nonstens, is how Hollywood views you. You can deny all you want, but you know you did it… you know I know about it, you know Team Nick/Steph knows, you know Rob knows. And now you have (more) evidence of what I’ve been telling you since last summer - your delusional complaints and campaigns have earned Rob a “crazy fans” rep in Hollywood, and that’s more damaging to him than any association with Kristen or Twilight will ever be. 

Your secret agenda to prove yourselves Rob’s #1 fans has failed. It will never…ever…succeed. You won’t get rid of the sheep. You definitely will not get rid of Kristen (everything you say, everything you do, only strengthens their bond). You don’t understand him better than other fans, he doesn’t like you more than other fans. Don’t hold your breath waiting to hear him acknowledge you, let alone thank you. Nobody’s planning strategy from reading the crap you spew online. Nobody is punishing you… or rewarding you. 

Those of you who blindly follow your Silly Nonsten leaders, I mean friends, probably think I’m the crazy one. That’s A-OK with me. There is a minority among you who know I speak the truth. You Silly Nonstens are begging for a return on your investment that’s never coming. You don’t have to like Kristen (I think everyone, including Rob and Kristen, will be happier if you don’t). But start acting your age, and remind yourselves that words typed on your computer don’t just dissolve into the ether. Those words convey meaning. You are accountable for these words. You are not Rob’s lover, mother, friend, manager, agent, or publicist. You don’t have any business trying to impact his reputation in the industry, or his career decisions. You’re defending Rob against a figment of your imaginations, battling against something that exists only in your minds. 

You’ve proven to Rob that his words are futile, so why would I expect you to believe me more than you believe him? The best I can hope for is to wedge a little doubt in your minds, so the next time reality shows itself, you might see it. In the meantime, my friends and I will continue to LOAO at the real circus - the Silly Nonstens, the Greatest (Shit)Show on Earth!

Lies, Fairy Tales, Propaganda, Untruths, Bullshit

One of the funniest aspects of the Silly Nonstens is that, at the same time they proudly declare their superiority to the sheep for not blindly accepting what (they think) is being fed to fans, and for believing the fairy tales of various super-sekrit insiders… they open wide for their own super-sekrit insiders, trusting as babes in arms. They’re deeply invested in their beliefs about both Rob and Kristen, and all they really want is confirmation. B-a-a-a-a-ha-ha-ha!

Here’s a classic from the Silly Nonstens’ book of fairy tales. Authored by Vagaz! AZ/redvines claimed authorship here, but I remember the discussion the way the other poster tells it. VAgirl/Over+Outsten was also at the RM premiere (was it the birth of Vagaz?). Read on for their version of events:

Would anyone from Summit spill the PR beans to fans - their target fauxmance audience? The other Silly Nonstens think so. They believe the fans are being micro-managed by PR, that both sides of the fan fence (Robsten/Nonsten) are being played by Summit. Vagaz expect their Silly Nonstens pals to pick up on the subtext here - the (mythical) Summit rep divining that Vagaz were “real Rob fans”, so should be let in on the PR shenanigans. 

I can picture it now… Vagaz were leaning against the metal barricades along 58th Street, bonding over their hatred of Kristen, when a Summit suit wandered by and said, “Oh, can’t stand Kristen? She’ll be here tonight, you know. We ordered her to walk the red carpet!” 

Not believable? How about this… the stars were inside the theater, the movie had begun, and Vagaz were hanging around reliving those exciting moments they’d just experienced, squeeing over Rob’s fingers, his eyes, his voice, his hair… and asked a passing Summit suit why Kristen had showed. “Because we ordered her to walk the red carpet”, the suit replied. “Why am I out in the street when my bosses are in the theater and the movie’s starting?” Doh! That doesn’t work either.

The fact is, nobody said it. Kristen wasn’t there at Summit’s order, Summit’s recommendation or even Summit’s request. Kristen was invited by her boyfriend, the star and executive producer of the movie. There had been physical threats posted at Nonsten.com about Kristen, should she show her face at the premiere (later deleted, and now denied by the Silly Nonstens). For that reason alone, you can be sure Summit would never have ordered Kristen to show up there. Kristen went to the premiere because Rob wanted her to be there with him, very much. Having been seen arriving at JFK, along with Tom, a few days earlier, was evidence enough… or should have been.

Instead, because the Silly Nonstens think the end (saving Rob by getting him away from Kristen-no, I’m not kidding) justifies the means, they chose to lie (again), in a guerilla-warfare tactic against what they see as Kristen’s massive PR team using Rob. What better way to explain Kristen’s appearance than inventing an anonymous Summit “rep” with a handy excuse? If Summit was cross-promoting, surely we would have seen other Twilight actors on the red carpet that night. As I recall, Robs’ friend and co-star Peter Facinelli was in New York that evening… but not at the Paris Theatre. 

Notice AZ/redvines’ subtle propaganda - “That is a direct quote”, “that’s the word he used”, “factual statement”. She expects her audience to fall in line, and her blunt post indicates argument will be futile. What it comes down to is… do you believe AZ/redvines is a truthful person? Rob’s board regs know AZ’s in the habit of making “factual statements” that have no basis in reality. For the rest of you, perhaps these PRsten posts will shed some illumination on AZ’s regard for facts:

Balenciaga announced Kristen will front their new fragrance campaign this fall and promo-related accouncements promo for OTR, SWATH and BD2 are trickling out - there have been no announcements from Kristen about her filming schedule. And Trust & Believe, AZ hasn’t a clue whether Summit would greenlight a film for her. LOL!

AZ wants everyone to think Lionsgate and Summit are in competition, remember? Even though it’s one company. There’s no reason for anyone affiliated with Twilight to be anything but happy about THG box office success. Doh! 

Is AZ admitting here she’s stalking Rob? Because “they weren’t in the same country for months at a time” is a factual statement. In reality, AZ has no idea how much time Rob and Kristen spent together last year. But when one or the other, or both, disappear, the Silly Nonstens seize the opportunity to further their agenda. 

Ho-hum, another day, another nasty lie from AZ about Kristen! I never did see a satisfactory Silly Nonsten explanation for those pap photos of Rob leaving his family’s London home right after Christmas, carrying a pedal-steel-sized guitar case… which is one of the guitars Kristen bought for him at Norm’s. Doh!

AZ showing off her industry knowledge again… On The Road was produced by MK2, a French mini-major studio. Doh! And AZ must have Kristen’s planner, because she seems to know all about Kristen’s SWATH promo. LOL!

Rob has announced he’s working with Wyck on non-Twi-related projects. The problem here is that Kristen’s quote made it clear she was with Rob and Wyck, and AZ doesn’t like that. But who Rob chooses to spend his time with (work or pleasure) is out of AZ’s control. Doh!

Stating Summit buys pap pics gives the Silly Nonstens room to invent stories, but it’s just not true. Paris… Montreal… the London house last fall… date nights… AZ wants you all to believe it’s part of the fauxmance. Do I even need to say it’s not? It’s not, there I said it. LOL!

AZ is as informed about movie promo as she is other aspects of the film industry. There’s no current promo for BD1 or 2, for K11, or Bel Ami. Rob and Kristen have nothing to do with THG. How did 50 Shades even end up on this list? LOL! OTR, SWATH and Cosmopolis promo is all standard-magazine articles, trailers, etc etc. Nobody’s faking a date night to promote a movie. What kind of a person is AZ, that this crud seems so plausible to her?

Did AZ hack into Summit’s computers? Because Rob’s contract details aren’t available to the public. Doh!

She might have better luck avoiding Kristen if she doesn’t rent and watch Kristen’s movies, and discuss Kristen with her friends:

Doh! 

Finally, AZ is admitting something is just her opinion:

My opinion is that you have to be sick in the head to assign such twisted, manipulative motivations to people you don’t even know, all because you have a wild need for them to do your bidding. Why does AZ cares so very much about Rob’s personal life? Why is it so important to her that Rob and Kristen aren’t a real couple? Who is she getting her super-sekrit insidery info from, or is she the one making it all up? And who believes her?

At the beginning, I mentioned the Silly Nonstens’ belief in PR micro-management (Silly VAgirl/Over+Outsten is one of its biggest proponents). They actually think Summit is reading their posts as a Twilight marketing tool, to get tips on how to direct their fauxmance PR… Rob’s team is reading their posts to combat Summit’s PR, to send the Silly Nonstens signals of his resistance, to ‘reward’ them… and Kristen’s team is reading too (they’d have to be real masochists to read this crap. LOL!).  It’s a strange mixture of cynicism, arrogance and paranoia:

For Silly VAgirl/Over+Outsten, this PR pissing war is personal. Which makes sense, given that she’s personally over-invested in Rob to a quite alarming degree. If I were responsible for Rob’s security, I’d be alarmed by this characterization of Kristen as “bullying” Rob… and by the depth of VAgirl’s delusion, given her desire to defend Rob against someone who’s clearly quite close to him in real life.

Again, this delusion sets up Summit and Kristen as working against Rob, and the Silly Nonstens (VAgirl especially) as his defenders, closer to him than his enemies, Kristen and Summit. It makes the Silly Nonstens important to Rob, because his enemies are spying on them to develop their strategy. I wish I was kidding, I really do.

Posted after Rob and Kristen returned from Paris. A typical reference to Kristen as an uncontrollable, immature, spoiled actress and Rob as Kristen’s/Summit’s/Twilight’s PR band-aid. The logical conclusion is that Kristen/her massive PR team/Summit are clinging to Rob so Kristen’s personality doesn’t sink her career. Doh!

Here the fans are also woven into the PR battle - Rob and his “real” Silly Nonsten fans against Kristen, Summit, and the sheep.  I’m again disturbed that “it seems personal” - more over-identification with Rob. 

There shouldn’t be any lying and hijacking of Rob’s personal life… or Kristen’s, either. Fans shouldn’t twist facts and events to suit their lies, or state opinion as fact, or assign mean-spirited motivations to Rob and Kristen that just don’t exist in reality.

This was posted a little over a week ago. The Silly Nonstens really threw a tantrum over the BD2 reshoots, alleging that reshoots aren’t needed and they’re just fauxmance PR. The Silly Nonstens are divorced from reality, expecting everyone to ignore Rob is - still - playing Edward Cullen. Such hypocrisy (If Rob were talking about Cosmopolis during BD promo, the Silly Nonstens would be jumping for joy) is another example of the ‘us against them’ battle mentality the Silly Nonstens have developed. 

Hi, VAgirl! Of course, I’m not anti-Rob-only fans. I do expect fans of one to respect, rather than attack, the other. Still waiting to see that from the Silly Nonstens!

VAgirl thinks Rob would face death threats if he denied being in a relationship with Kristen. That signals the depth of her delusion and her investment. 

VAgirl says she would forgive Rob almost anything if he “did it” (allowed the public to believe he’s in a relationship with Kristen) to protect himself and those around him. I wonder if she would forgive Rob for protecting himself, Kristen, and their privacy, from the invasive behavior (physically, cyberbullying, negative gossip, etc.) of the Silly Nonstens?

Lionsgate/Summit’s Ever-Expanding PR Payroll List

Courtesy of Gretel

lionsgate/summit’s payroll 

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, Bonnie Fuller, Ted, Taryn, Lainey Gossip, PopSugar, Gossip Cop, The Fablife, CourtJustice, Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, Elle-UK, W-UK, GQ-UK, Forbes Mag, Time Mag, Cosmo Mag, Glamour Mag, Glamour Mag-Paris, People Mag, US Weekly, Life and Style, OK Mag, Famous Mag, London Daily Mail, The Sun, USA Today, Chicago Sun-Times, Box Office Mojo, Access Hollywood, E! Entertainment, Entertainment Tonight, international fashion journalist and “man snob” Jim Shi, On the Runway’s Eric Wilson, James Myers of the TVC Group, Cannes official Thierry Frémaux, TMZ, X-17, Just Jared, Just Jared Jr., Splash News, Storm Shadow, Lightbox Gallery, Canadagraphs, OLTV, television news anchors in Budapest-Hungary, Wyck Godfrey, Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade, Bill Condon, Jack Morrissey, Walter Salles, Charles Gillibert, Gio Angelli, Rupert Sanders, Stephanie Ritz, UK agent Grace, Nick Frenkel, Ruth Bernstein, John Fahrendorf, John Wayne Blair, Dean McManus, John Stewart, Jules Mann Stewart, Richard Pattinson, Clare Pattinson, Bear Stewart-Pattinson , Shawn Robinson, Josh Horowitz, Nancy O’Dell, Ann Curry, Meredith Viera, Hollywood and Dine guy, Reese Witherspoon, Donna Scott, Elisabetta Canalis, Dustin Hoffman, Bette Midler, Eddie Redmayne, Christina Ricci, Mia Wasikowska, Sir Paul McCartney, Gwyneth Paltrow, Pauley Perrette of NCIS, AnnaLynne McCord on the Eclipse BC, Kellan Lutz who said they were “madly in love”, Taylor Lautner, Dakota Fanning, Charlie Bewley, Daniel Cudmore, Mia Maestro, Rob’s Hungarian Bel Ami double, Garrett Hedlund, OTR extra before Montreal set pictures broke, Thor actress Jaimie Alexander, Katy Perry, Shannon Woodward, Scout Taylor Compton and her boyfriend from Glee, Mulberry Fashion/Luggage, Balenciaga, Louis Vuitton, Sienna Miller and unborn child, all the members of the Britpack, Matilda Sturridge and baby, Sam Bradley’s sister on facebook, little Holly at the IOW, girls in the restroom with Kristen at Winter Gardens, patrons of The Anchor Inn, patrons of The Spyglass Inn, twitters on the IOW ferry, IOW candy store/drug store stalker, IOW wannabe actress and Kristen hater, girl at the handicapped exit at Heathrow that saw Rob kiss Kristen’s nose, mouth, and chin, London Republican politician and his assistant, fashion reporter at the BAFTAs, Budapest-Hungary set stalker, Austrian girl vacationing in Paris, lady on the flight with Kristen from Paris to Budapest, little neighbor girl of Charles Sturridge, London brother and sister standing in front of the church, the girl who only wanted Skittles, owners of Bumpkin in Notting Hill, girl walking down sidewalk in front of Bumpkin in Notting Hill, Brazilian nonfan at The Cow Pub, twitter girls from Marcus’ gig at Dingwalls, lady on the plane from Heathrow to Dulles that tweeted Kristen was sleeping on Rob’s shoulder, the entire guest list for the Ojai Valley wedding, hotel staff at Ojai Valley, corn scientist at Chicago O’Hare, really cute guy from the patio bar at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna, nice lady eating at the restaurant at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna who posted at the AT and later brought over a pic, girl on the plane with the creeper hand-holding picture, German maid during New Moon promo, bar patrons at Avenue in NYC, owners of The View Point Inn, theater employee during Eclipse re-shoots, fired waitress from Richards on Richards in Vancouver, Vancouver limo driver with the cowboy hat, birthday girl who presented the original of the blackened cab picture, employees and shoppers at Retro Rock Clothing in Vancouver, Vancouver grocery store clerks during Grocery-gate, pilots on the redeye with Rob from LAX to JFK, LA Starbuck’s drive-through girl who sold them bagels and blueberry muffins, shoppers at Iguana Vintage Clothing who reported them digging through the dollar bins, rooftop party goers who saw Kristen sitting in Rob’s lap after the Eclipse Premiere, patrons of the Baton Rouge California Pizza Kitchen, employees from a random gaming store located between Baton Rouge and NOLA, die-hard bowlers from Don Carter Lanes in Baton Rouge, Baton Rouge facebook moderator, tweeters from The Loft Wine Bar at Perkin’s Rowe where Kristen sat on some girl’s coat, employees of Flemming’s Steak House in Baton Rouge, patrons of The Cadillac Cafe and Karaoke Bar in Baton Rouge, Baton Rouge local who reported them riding bikes on a service road outside the studio, Yorkville tweeters who spotted Kristen in a grocery store and pharmacy, childhood friend Jessica and gf Alex on L-Chat, employees of La Bodega Tapas Bar in Vancouver, girl who tweeted Rob, Kristen, and Bear walking down the sidewalk in Vancouver, Vancouver hotel stalker who saw Rob, Kristen, and PapaStew get on an elevator, teens watching Red Riding Hood in Squamish, random girl at Bear’s vet, rapper dude from Ralph’s grocery, all the citizens of Lapa-Brazil: population 25,000, Rosesee, Tulip, Stoney Marie, rest of the regs at the AT, the employees of Norm’s Rare Guitars, friends SuzieQ and Lindsey with the NYE party pics, LA motorist who wanted to reverse her car, skanky model from SOHO who is friends with Cobrasnake, snarky ex-wife of an A-Lister Famecandytweet, Miss Onelia and her friends, Tia and Tamara of Sister/Sister fame, sleazy fashionista Lori Krebs of Beyond the Rack, cutie hip hop dancer Deja Carter and her mom at the Sherman Oaks sushi joint, dude who complained they cut the line to get into Suzie’s 21^st birthday bash, everyone who tweeted about the WME pre-Oscar party and Chateau Marmont hand-holding PDA, Vanessa’s cousin and his sneaky pic from Scout’s Dirty Dancing Party, precious NYC Bieliber and her pic of Rob bound for Paris, Spanish fan on the plane with Rob and P. Diddy, Abeitotzz with the first pic of Rob on the LV Red Carpet, sweet Mandy Merheb whose LV hand-holding pic was blocked by the dude in the letterman jacket, peeps at an LA party where Kristen touched some guy after leaving the restroom, the girl who saw tongue at Johnny Flynn’s concert, Tink-the queen of the Robsessed with her melty PDA concert encounter, ginger hobo who tried to snap a picture, Dose editor Jen McDonnell at Coachella, nonsten/PRsten reg Bamagirl14 who posted that Rob was holding Kristen’s hand so she wouldn’t get lost (LMAO), and dozens of random others that I’ve forgotten. All this from the studio too cheap to buy decent wigs! 

Line? What Line? a/k/a Vagaz, Part 2!

In my last post, I had shown you a few of the super-sekrit Silly Nonsten conspiracy theories put forth by VAgirl and AZMovieFan-1 of Rob’s IMDb board, in their Silly Nonsten  identities as Over+Outsten and redvines at PRsten. You saw their bitter accusations that Kristen, her family, her team, and Summit exploit Rob to keep Kristen’s career afloat. You saw some of their asinine fauxmance theories. Today you’ll see how far they’re going to keep their delusions alive, since Rob really isn’t cooperating with them. LOL! They can no longer pretend Rob is an unwilling or even reluctant participant in the PR fuckery, so they’ve decided he’s in on it… and while Kristen’s consistently charged with having the most vile motives for the PR fuckery, they applaud Rob for it! How do they get away with such hypocrisy?

Don’t forget, Rob IS the hero of their story. He’s the innocent Hollywood newcomer, friendless except for Team Nick/Steph, his beloved BritPack besties… and his faithful ‘real’ Rob fans! As the underdog, naturally he’s allowed to use what weapons he has handy in the fight against his exploitation by Summit/Kristen. Some of the Silly Nonstens (like VAgirl/Over+Outsten) come over all maternal with Rob now and then, when they’re not sighing over jawporn, fingerporn, etc… this is the source of it. They see Rob as a babe in the (Holly)woods, his mum far away in jolly old England, and they’re more than happy to step in and cluck over him. 

According to Vagaz, Rob needs to be on guard simply being around Kristen:

Because he has a good heart and she is heartless:

Is your head spinning yet?

Here’s just one Silly Nonsten example of Rob “pushing back” against Summit/Kristen. Team Nick/Steph used the bat phone to send a pap to Malibu, where Rob was ready and waiting with his paddle and surfboard. Why? To “steal the thunder from the KCA’s”, for one thing. I can’t understand why on earth Rob would want to do that or gain from doing that, can you? To “push the post from Tink down the page on Robsessed” and “push the threads about Friday nite [sic] down the page on IMDb (which the Kristen army had invade)”. Only in the world of Silly Nonsten delusion does a story about an evening out on a fan site, and the same story discussed in an IMDb message board thread, become so threatening it’s worthy of the kind of PR stunt AZ/redvines proposed: 

She doesn’t think ‘PR’ is a dirty word, or ‘self promotion’… although the way she uses them sure makes them sound dirty! And it’s not just Rob who’s in a PR pissing war with Kristen. The Silly Nonstens want Charlize Theron to play too!

VAgirl/Over+Outsten prefers to see Rob as defenseless against Summit/Kristen (remember, she’s one of the maternal types), passive-aggressively resisting Summit’s bidding - he’ll appear with Kristen, but Summit can’t make him smile about it! 

Why would Rob and Kristen receive luggage as swag, orchestrated by Summit, from Mulberry, when Bric is the luggage that was used in BD1? And what about Taylor? He’s part of the Twilight trio of stars, where’s his Mulberry/Bric luggage? Doh! 

BTW, no “real people” I know have their own assigned piece of luggage. Perhaps having luggage that’s just YOURS is important to some people, but I’m guessing Rob and Kristen, like most other real people, open the closet door and grab whatever size bags they need for a trip. They are hobos, after all. LOL!

Vagaz really like it when Rob is seen out without Kristen:

Silly Nonstens see Lindsay Lohan’s name being linked in tabloids with Rob’s as “frosting”… they want Rob to be perceived as a player, hooking up with starlets left and right. Next time you read a tabloid story about Rob and another woman, think about who fed that story to the tabloids. Doh!

Where was that shout-out to Lindsay? Oh yes, didn’t happen. Doh! Just wait until you get a load of this speculation on how Robsten’ will end:

My favorite thing about this is how AZ/redvines is so willing to dump a huge portion of Rob’s fan base. Even I don’t want Rob to lose the Silly Nonstens as fans (most of them), I just want them to stop being delusional and continue supporting his career. Rob’s fanbase is mostly Twilight fans. Those fans are valuable to him, and he knows it. Wonder how he’d feel about AZ/redvines’ desire to kick the majority of his fan base to the curb?

And as the Silly Nonstens are so into tabloid gossip, I’m thunderstruck at this proof of their limited understanding of the gossip cycle. The tabloids need frequent feeding, 24/7. We’ve seen the Silly Nonstens acknowledge that ‘Robsten’ isn’t getting a lot of media attention these days. That’s because the public has gotten used to the idea of Rob and Kristen as a couple and stories on them aren’t quite as exciting as a year ago. Rumors about Rob with other women are more exciting, more sellable. Why is that difficult to grasp? It has nothing to do with Rob and Kristen’s relationship not making sense to the media. LOL!

BTW, this lessening of tabloid interest is a VERY GOOD THING for Rob. But the Silly Nonstens care more about getting Rob away from Kristen than about what’s good for him, so they jump on any lie about Rob with another woman. Hence the Lindsay Lohan frosting, Sarah Gadon’s quick public statement about her relationship status at the beginning of Cosmopolis filming, the continual swirl of rumors about Caitlin Cronenberg despite the lack of evidence that of anything more than a professional relationship, or the explosion of rumors around Rob sitting in a car next to poor Sarah Roemer last December. What an embarrassing episode that must have been for Rob. That gossip was completely fan-driven, or should I say Silly Nonsten-driven. Doh! 

Let’s take a closer look at the Roemer rumors:

Nobody saw Rob’s hand on Sarah’s knee but the delusional Silly Nonstens. Rob’s hands are big, but they’re not THAT big. Doh! I can just imagine how this photo thrilled the Silly Nonstens at first, though. Their prayers had been answered! Rob was out with another woman! Until… Sarah was never seen with Rob again. I’m highly amused that the Silly Nonstens have spent years attempting to debunk Rob’s relationship with Kristen, but are ready to ship with him Sarah Roemer based on a hand hovering in the air. LOL! 

Are those signals the Silly Nonstens are receiving anything like smoke signals? If you read them carefully, you can deduce Kristen is young, ambitious and focused on her career? You know what would get you the same answer, a lot faster? Going to IMDb to look up her date of birth and her list of credits. Doh!

I confess I hadn’t realized it’s a #NonstenFact that Kristen leaked that Christmas photo of her and Rob with his parents. LOL! I’m surprised they didn’t claim she photoshopped it. They must have just about stroked out, seeing Kristen standing in Rob’s family home, arm around Rob, with his parents, all smiles, at Christmas! LMAO!

What lies did they tell each other to explain that one? While we’re on the subject… did you know Vagaz are doubting that Kristen was at IOW with Rob over New Year’s last year?